Thom Stark was accused of being a liberal right here in my li’l ole blog. Apparently the fellow who made the accusation hit a nerve because Mr. Stark responded with a post explaining why he is a conservative. I have another way to respond to the charge of being a liberal. I open my worn copy of Aesop’s Alternate Fables and read that often overlooked fable, “The hottest thing in the kitchen”:
“I’m hot.” said the ice cube proudly.
“No you’re not,” replied the glass indignantly. “Indeed, you’re positively cold.”
“That’s what you think,” replied the ice cube. “But have you met my friend?” And with that he gestured over to the lump of dry ice smoking in the corner of the kitchen. “See how cold he is? So I’m hot!”
“Well I have no idea what dry ice is doing in the kitchen,” the glass replied with puzzlement. “But I suppose you are hotter than that. But still, I’m hotter than you.”
“You may be hotter than the ice cube,” interjected the electric kettle, “but I’m hotter than both of you.”
“Whoopie,” sneered the oven element. “I assure you, I’m hotter than you Mr. Kettle.”
“Big deal,” snorted the brick oven. “I’m hotter than the lot of you.”
And the others had to agree. The brick oven was indeed the hottest thing in the kitchen. But they also had to agree there were other kitchens which had still hotter things. And there were hotter things still to be found outside of kitchens. And, they also had to admit, there were also things much colder than the ice cube and the dry ice to be found inside and outside kitchens.
All this left the ice cube feeling a bit overwhelmed. After floating in the glass for awhile he said thoughtfully, “Glass, am I hot or am I cold?”
The glass paused for a moment and then replied, “I guess it all depends to what we compare you. You’re hot compared to the dry ice, but very cold compared to the brick oven. Anyways either way ice cube, I think you’re fine just the way you are.”
And with that the kitchen began to sing Kumbaya in a harmony so beautiful that the living room and bedroom fell silent and listened in rapturous delight.
