This movie goes on and on and on: A pious reflection on boredom
Who hasn’t sat through a critically acclaimed but painfully boring or otherwise unpleasant film simply because (a) it is supposed to be good and (b) you already paid your money to see it? Two nights ago my wife and I paid for a 48 hour rental on our PVR. The film was critically acclaimed, had subtitles, and was made in Europe. A sure winner, right?
Fifteen minutes in my wife decided to cut her losses. I too was getting very sleepy but resolved to watch the rest. And so I completed the task this morning. But to what end? I just lost two hours of my life. The pacing was so slow it makes the creep of a glacier look like cascading flood waters.
So after the first hour I turned off the sound (I could read the subtitles anyway) and I wrote a song with my guitar. Here it is:
This Movie Goes On (and On and On…)
Chorus
This movie goes on and on and on (2x)
Pushing stop is the cure but I paid my money so I’ll endure
This movie goes on and on and on
Verse 1
This movie won ten academy awards
But what do I care if I’m bored?
Why do I pay money to rent something that feels like punishment?
This movie goes on and on and on
Verse 2
I know that the themes are profound
Allusions and symbols all abound
The dialogue is the best so why’s my patience met its test?
This movie goes on and on and on
At least now I know what to do the next time I find myself watching a film like this. I’ll turn the volume off and write more verses.
Tags: boredom, culture, film
4 Comments
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toryninja says:
Friday, August 26, 2011 at 5:45pm
There is only one movie that has ever won 10 academy awards, and that is West Side Story. But this doesn’t sound like West Side Story :p The Last Emperor had 9 and was a Chinese/Italian production, and I think it had some subtitles, and I guess it could be considered boring if you absolutely hate that time period. But I really enjoyed it as a kid….
Hmmmm, what movie could you be talking about!
There must be some poetic license in your song here.
randal says:
Friday, August 26, 2011 at 5:49pm
Now I know you are not as uptight as this makes you sound. The description is hyperbolic.
While we’re on the topic, I didn’t finish “West Side Story” either.
toryninja says:
Friday, August 26, 2011 at 6:31pm
Hmmmm….That’s interesting that my comment sounds uptight. It was written in good jest! Sometimes it’s tough to know how one comes across in purely text form. Maybe reading things out loud might help?
I apologize for any and all uptightness!
I was really just curious at what film you were talking about
randal says:
Friday, August 26, 2011 at 6:43pm
I was just jokin’ with you. The problem with typed comments is that you often miss the tone you’d get in spoken conversation.
Anyway, if you insist it was the film “Of Gods and Men”. I’m reluctant to mention it because it addresses a serious topic (monks who choose martyrdom) and thus presents the reader with great fodder for reflecting on theologies of martyrdom, a Girardean theology of atonement, and all sorts of other important things.
But despite all that, I still found it to be the most slowly paced film I’d seen since the little known 1992 Spanish film “The Quince Tree Sun” (and I actually enjoyed that film).